How many narcissists does it take to do performance art?


If you are Chaos.

Last night I went to Luna in Royal Oak and when I was told at the door that cover was more because there was a show, I gasped! “Is it Causing a Scene?” I asked. “No, it is Chaos”, I was told.

I didn’t think it could get worse than Causing a Scene. Tired and pointless performance art that is just interesting enough that you can watch it, laugh, and remember the first time you saw something like that, ten to fifteen years ago. I’m only in my mid twenties. Calling it performance art is an abuse of the word art. It is more just a performance.

Chaos takes performance to a whole new level, a lower level than ever before. Not only was it tired and pointless, it was boring. It started off great, with good music. A loop that sounded like the Bjork Enjoy Further over the edge mix from the Telegram remix album. I said “Cool, I love this song.” and I proceeded to the floor to watch. What followed was the most pathetic attempt at performance that I have ever witnessed.

It was obvious that whatever rehersal they did was not infront of a video camera or reviewed by anyone else in anyway. If it were, I cannot believe that the event would have happened.

The event was called “Cyborg”. There was a single male and nine females in silver body paint. There was one female not in body paint. The male was on stage and each female walked out on stage, slowly, like a cross between doing the robot and walking down the isle like a bashful 4 year old flower girl. It took forever. The male posed the nine silver clad females in different positions, but none of them were suggestive or provative. It was more like the same 4 year old might pose her toy doll. Finally, the non-silver painted female entered the stage, and the contrast was not at all interesting. As they cut off her shirt in the most uninteresting shedding of clothes that I have ever seen on stage, a large round man actually showted “Titties!” in excitement. But alas, there were no titties. Well, at least not bare ones.

The seconds song got me ever more excited than the first. Wumpscut has always been a favorite of mine, and Christfuck is an awesome song. But when the proceeded to do more of the same old boring stage movement ammounting to nothing, I said to my friend “hey, lets go dance behind the crowd.” So we did. I’m not sure if the people on stage (I hesitate to call them performers) saw this or not, but I hope they took it as the biggest fuck you that they could possibly take it as.

Summary: Horribly boring things on stage, to very good music.